Zzz

I just now realized that I've been extra anxious and nervous this week because I haven't been sleeping as much. Usually im the master at sleep* but I haven't went to sleep before midnight in 2 weeks and I've been staying up after suhoor for school. Crazy that it took all week and a lot of nervous sweats to figure that out. Today was probably my most nervous day and I got so mad at myself for reverting back to my old anxious self. I can now forgive myself because I just simply wasn't taking care of my body.

I need a nap.

*my father literally clowned me by saying "I'm gonna pull a 'you' tonight" meaning that he's gonna gts early
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Memory: My mom and I stopped at Wendy's to get milkshakes and fries. I dipped my fries into the milkshake and my she was like "??? you're one of those people that dip their fries into milkshakes???" Apparently she never tried it before and didn't know how good it was. Once she tried it she was overwhelmed by how good it was. That was the best fry/milkshake combo I've ever had because she was so passionate about how good it was. I haven't had one as good ever since.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Hardships and Ease

I was reading this book "The Message" by Ta-Nehisi Coates and I was surprised to find that I related to a lot of things he was saying about himself. Both in his past and things that I want to do that he has done. I was thinking that he is me but in another universe. In the second chapter he was saying how in school he would do great on tests, but his behavior didnt match. He was always asking 'why' and thought outside the box. And I agree with him that secular learning taught in schools only prepare one to be an obedient worker in the context of capitalism. But I am the prime example of this. I've always been the 'good one' in class, quiet and obedient. Never asking questions let alone asking 'why?'. I admire how he always wants to know the reason behind things, thought in ways unexpected of him, and questioned the things he was told. It's a type of intelligence that I aim to achieve. That critical thinking instead of blind obedience.  But that...
Read more

Readings II

  2 posts in 24hrs ??? who is this ??? Some books I've been really into: 1) Invisible Man- I read this book a couple months ago and I still think about it almost daily. I read the first chapter in one of my first yrs of college and I've always wanted to read the full thing but I felt like I wasn't competent enough to fully grasp it. It was a fairly hard read because it was just so jam-packed with metaphors and symbolism but it was worth it brain power. I couldn't wait to finish the book just so that I could do research on it that unpacks all the symbolism I might have missed. And I loved the development of the characters like how the author represents the different mentalities of black people during that time from Dr. Bledsoe's "White is Right" to the veteran's more "woke" approach. . It's just such a great book. Definite 10/10 I can't wait to read it again. 2) Things Fall Apart- Another book that got me thinking about it months after...
Read more

Fortified

  fortified  adjective   for·​ti·​fied :  made stronger or more secure   I don't know why but the word "fortified" has kept coming up in my mind lately. Whenever I think about my progress in my mental health, that word comes up. I feel fortified. This morning I was just thinking about how many things Allah has aligned for me to feel this way. With finally feeling secure in my living situation and getting help from my therapist, I feel like I finally have the strength and tools to live my life.  Some of the things that attributed to my fortification were: 1-moving: I don't plan on moving from this place anytime soon. The only reason I would is if this house is destroyed or I get married, so I feel so secure and don't feel rushed or that I need to find some other place to live 2-work: I'm not trying to "get through" school or anything, I made it.  Work has made me realize that there is more to life than school and work. I was itching to change my ro...
Read more