Soft
Almost 2 months ago I decided to make the conscious decision to be more soft. This idea got sparked in my mind for 2 reasons. 1) Idk if I mentioned this before but I've become tired of constantly being in survival mode. Always anxious and afraid. And 2) After seeing how open and soft my sister-in-law is, it made me realize how much I've hardened over the years. I had to go back in my mind and remember that at my core I am a lover. I have labeled myself as a hater over the past couple years and I started to believe it; it became my identity. Growing up I would freely cry over things that made me upset or even because someone else was upset but I've realized how hard it is for me to cry without wondering what someone would think or getting on myself for crying. So basically I'm just trying to get back to who I was (am?) before I became so hardened by the world. It was easy at first. I realized that if I were being mean to my brother for example, it was just a defense mech...